We (my husband and I) are friends with a girl who was to marry her high school sweetheart after many years of dating. They dated throughout college, then just before their wedding date she called it off. My husband was told that she felt she was with her boyfriend for so long that she didn't have time to date others, live life, party. Experience life on her own.
When I heard this, I wondered if I was looking into a mirror of my past. This was me! I dated my boyfriend in high school, then continued on throughout college. I was pretty sure this is who I was going to marry. During my junior year I studied overseas. When I came back I soon realized that I had done a lot of growing up and saw my life a little differently now. I decided to end the relationship.
But the summer after my junior year of college I ended up going on a blind date with my eventual husband. Within 2 months and 1 day after that first date I was engaged!! As it came closer to our wedding date I wondered the same thing as our friend. I was in a relationship for so long, wanted a break, but only got a few months before I was in another relationship, heading towards marriage.
I look back at it now, after just celebrating our 8th year married (!!!!), and wonder if I should have taken time to live life by myself. I never lived by myself in my own apartment. Although I did do my share of partying, I didn't get to do it very long. (I was married then pregnant at 22!) I didn't just get to book an airline ticket to go visit my friends in other places. Are there other things I wish I would have done in my single life before settling down? Oh I'm sure.
I don't for one second think ill of our friend who decided to be 100% sure of the choice to get married before jumping in. In fact, I respect her for it! It means that for her, marriage is a one-time deal. A promise you make before friends and family, to your spouse-to-be, and to God. If she wasn't ready to make that most important life changing promise, then she shouldn't.
So now, looking back, I wonder if I am looking in a mirror. And the answer is no. I would have to say there are parallels. At 30, there are things that I feel I missed out on. But now knowing that I put my faith in God's hands, he had/has a plan for me. I'm so blessed that God put my husband before me. That he gave me the opportunity to give me a man who loves me for who I am. And further on, I am so blessed and grateful to have gotten four amazing, healthy, beautiful gifts out of this marriage!!!
I guess I compare the life I could have lived for a little bit to the life I have now. Sure I may have missed out on some things. But I know that there are so many things that I get to do now that give meaning to my life!!! And the good thing is, God willing, I'll still be young enough to do some of those things when our kiddos have lives of their own!
