Every day I'm going to (try to) allow myself at least 10 minutes of peace and tranquility. I've found what works for me!! Now it's just finding the time, then finding the time with no kids around. Not impossible, but challenging!
Well, I've done it two times this week! I turn on 'Soundscapes' (channel 88-29 on our tv). I turn off all the lights. We have a nice size window on our back wall where I can just zone out to the trees dancing around, the squirrels playing a game of tag, the clouds rolling by like waves. I get lost in those moments. My mind turns blank, which hardly ever happens. For those 10 minutes (sometimes more) I don't have to succumb to the "To-Do List" that hounds my mind constantly throughout the day and night. My shoulders relax. I hold my baby (sometimes) and stroke her hair. It's just now getting long enough to barely wrap around her ear. Her skin is so incredibly soft. And she smells so sweet (although it is some breastmilk spilled over, it is so sweet smelling). I drink the coffee that my husband makes for me in the morning in the most incredible mug I've ever had (another post to come on that!), just being so grateful that I have a husband who loves me enough to make coffee for ME!
The music just soaks up the stress that has come upon my shoulders and arms and face and neck from the morning.
What a wonderful feeling of peace and tranquility!
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
Good-Bye 30!
So my birthday is officially over. At least for the next 365 days! And I think about all the things that have happened during my 30th year! Makes me tired!
To think it was only a year ago that my husband had just moved back from South Dakota, where he'd been for 14 months!! Now he only has 1 more rotation to go, and graduates in less than 2 months!
A year ago I was quite pregnant. 19 weeks actually! But with my 4th!! I was a whale at this point. LOL
To think that when I turned 30 my daughter was in preschool. Now, as a kindergartner, I feel like she's been in school forever!
In my 30th year I had to get my second set of stitches! My first was only a year before at almost the exact same time!
In my 30th year I had my 4th baby. I told myself so many years ago that I was going to be done having kids when I turn 30! I accomplished that!
In my 30th year I celebrated my 8th anniversary to a man that I have fallen in love with so deeply. A man that would do, and has done, just about anything to make me happy!
I'm happy to say that I am another year older!! It's one more year of so many memories made. Moments that I will cherish forever!
Now I can look forward to what my next 365 days brings, God willing. The Lord has been so gracious to me, to our family! I have so much thanks to give to Him! I'm excited to see the doors that will open up for us, as my husband graduates and has a job already awaiting him. As we face a potential move to another town. As my kids excitedly learn their sports and activities. To watch my little Peanut soak up so much that life has to offer her! To be part of the excitement of yet another of my blessings starting preschool! (We have to get him potty trained first! We're well on our way though!) And to celebrate another year of marriage with my amazing husband (which seems like a rare commodity these days.)!!
To think it was only a year ago that my husband had just moved back from South Dakota, where he'd been for 14 months!! Now he only has 1 more rotation to go, and graduates in less than 2 months!
A year ago I was quite pregnant. 19 weeks actually! But with my 4th!! I was a whale at this point. LOL
To think that when I turned 30 my daughter was in preschool. Now, as a kindergartner, I feel like she's been in school forever!
In my 30th year I had to get my second set of stitches! My first was only a year before at almost the exact same time!
In my 30th year I had my 4th baby. I told myself so many years ago that I was going to be done having kids when I turn 30! I accomplished that!
In my 30th year I celebrated my 8th anniversary to a man that I have fallen in love with so deeply. A man that would do, and has done, just about anything to make me happy!
I'm happy to say that I am another year older!! It's one more year of so many memories made. Moments that I will cherish forever!
Now I can look forward to what my next 365 days brings, God willing. The Lord has been so gracious to me, to our family! I have so much thanks to give to Him! I'm excited to see the doors that will open up for us, as my husband graduates and has a job already awaiting him. As we face a potential move to another town. As my kids excitedly learn their sports and activities. To watch my little Peanut soak up so much that life has to offer her! To be part of the excitement of yet another of my blessings starting preschool! (We have to get him potty trained first! We're well on our way though!) And to celebrate another year of marriage with my amazing husband (which seems like a rare commodity these days.)!!
Good-bye 30! Hello 31!
{Me, my Peanut and my Pal!}
{My birthday presents: Caribou Mint Condition and two homemade candle holders!} {Oh yeah, and a healthy and loving family!}
{Me, my Peanut and my Pal!}
{My birthday presents: Caribou Mint Condition and two homemade candle holders!} {Oh yeah, and a healthy and loving family!}
{My Peanut and Me}
{And if you can't be silly with your family, who CAN you be silly with?}
{This is me (and K) lovin' life!}
{And if you can't be silly with your family, who CAN you be silly with?}{This is me (and K) lovin' life!}
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
What I DID do today!
I've been trying these last few days to really try to see things differently. After my session last night I was told that I'm living life in a triangle: my thoughts cause my emotions and my emotions cause my actions, which then causes my thoughts. My thoughts for a while have not been the most positive. So in order to change my emotions and my actions, I need to change my thoughts. That's hard for me to do.
I've also been following this self-help challenge called Living the Self-Care Challenge. It's a daily tip which will hopefully turn into a habit. Well, I'm going to do one of those now. I'm going to write down what I HAVE accomplished today. I've always got this to-do list, and if it doesn't get done then I feel like I've failed. I get anxious and I don't enjoy things. This happens in the morning, in the afternoon, at night, when I should be sleeping, literally all the time. It's just never good enough.
What I DID do today! (and it's only 2:00!)
I've also been following this self-help challenge called Living the Self-Care Challenge. It's a daily tip which will hopefully turn into a habit. Well, I'm going to do one of those now. I'm going to write down what I HAVE accomplished today. I've always got this to-do list, and if it doesn't get done then I feel like I've failed. I get anxious and I don't enjoy things. This happens in the morning, in the afternoon, at night, when I should be sleeping, literally all the time. It's just never good enough.
In fact, just a couple weeks ago I was told by someone who loves me that my parenting isn't good enough, simply because it's not the "right" way, or their way of parenting. And my kids are pretty damn good kids! I can take them out to eat, all 4 of them, without having to worry about them having a fit. I almost always take them to the store with me, without hesitation, because they are very well-behaved kids. And I get told this a lot by perfect strangers, how well behaved they are! I'm very proud of them, as well as Bryan and I for how we are doing with our kiddos! However, my parenting style is still not good enough. It's not "right", somehow. This is pretty much how I feel I lived growing up, actually. Nothing was ever good enough. Now that's my thinking in my adult life, and I need to change that, before I create that monster inside my kids' heads! And that I will NOT allow. So here it goes. More positive thinking!!
What I DID do today! (and it's only 2:00!)
1. got the kids breakfast
2. changed 3 diapers (2 poopy ones even!)
3. did 3 loads of laundry
4. took the kids to the park and PLAYED with them!
5. made lunch
6. unloaded the dishwasher
7. loaded the dishwasher
8. did some dishes
9. folded laundry
10. put some laundry away
11. replied to a birthday invite!
12. put that birthday party on my Google calendar
13. cleaned up one couch so we can sit on it
14. put toys in the living room away
15. pumped (I have a few dates this week that my Peanut will have to have a bottle)
16. cleaned out part of the freezer
17. took a shower (these are obviously not in the correct order!)
18. signed up for 2 of my kids' conferences at their school
19. put those conference times on my Google calendar
20. put my Peanut down for a nap
21. put the other 2 blessings down for their nap (one being my own, one being a daycare blessing)
22. swept the entry way (lots of leaf parts)
23. swept the kitchen floor
24. blow-dried my hair (which almost NEVER happens!) (and this was even for myself!)
I'm sure there are more. And maybe not. But I still have a lot of time left in my day. However, after looking back at this list, I think I need to say, "Good job, Brandi!" 24 things accomplished, and possibly even more. So I think I'm going to reward myself. When my kiddos get home from school, I have been thinking I'm going to see if they could help play with my younger 2 so I can get more things done. Screw that! I'm going to go outside (being that it's so nice out there; sunny and 70!) and play with them, whatever they want! I have a daycare conference tonight, so I will be away from my family. They deserve for their mom to be with them, and to ENJOY that time, not thinking about what else needs to be done!
Now I'm excited for when they get home!!! This mom is going to play! I accomplished things today, and now it's my turn to PLAY with my kids! Just add that to one more thing I DID today!
2. changed 3 diapers (2 poopy ones even!)
3. did 3 loads of laundry
4. took the kids to the park and PLAYED with them!
5. made lunch
6. unloaded the dishwasher
7. loaded the dishwasher
8. did some dishes
9. folded laundry
10. put some laundry away
11. replied to a birthday invite!
12. put that birthday party on my Google calendar
13. cleaned up one couch so we can sit on it
14. put toys in the living room away
15. pumped (I have a few dates this week that my Peanut will have to have a bottle)
16. cleaned out part of the freezer
17. took a shower (these are obviously not in the correct order!)
18. signed up for 2 of my kids' conferences at their school
19. put those conference times on my Google calendar
20. put my Peanut down for a nap
21. put the other 2 blessings down for their nap (one being my own, one being a daycare blessing)
22. swept the entry way (lots of leaf parts)
23. swept the kitchen floor
24. blow-dried my hair (which almost NEVER happens!) (and this was even for myself!)
I'm sure there are more. And maybe not. But I still have a lot of time left in my day. However, after looking back at this list, I think I need to say, "Good job, Brandi!" 24 things accomplished, and possibly even more. So I think I'm going to reward myself. When my kiddos get home from school, I have been thinking I'm going to see if they could help play with my younger 2 so I can get more things done. Screw that! I'm going to go outside (being that it's so nice out there; sunny and 70!) and play with them, whatever they want! I have a daycare conference tonight, so I will be away from my family. They deserve for their mom to be with them, and to ENJOY that time, not thinking about what else needs to be done!
Now I'm excited for when they get home!!! This mom is going to play! I accomplished things today, and now it's my turn to PLAY with my kids! Just add that to one more thing I DID today!
Monday, October 11, 2010
Treat your Ta-Tas!! After all, it is Breast Cancer Awareness Month!
That's what I did yesterday! You know, with this whole nursing thing, my boobs just don't fit into the bras I have...except the nursing ones. Well, I'm done with those. They are the most unattractive thing to hold how many pounds of milk and fat in! (Although they are nice when we're out in public.)
So I decided to go shopping for some lift-me-ups!! I walked in the store and the first thing I said was, "Hi. I am wondering if you could measure me!" How often does that happen? I felt kind of like a moron. But that's her job, you know! So she walked me away from the check-out counters. I figured she was going to take me to a fitting room or something. NOPE! Just a few feet away behind a rack of bras. LOL Ok, I guess:)
So she gave me my measurements and just started picking away. I was quite surprised at the cup size she had me at, but I figured she knew best, and we would just go try on these ta-ta holders! But as she kept grabbing more, they were not what I was expecting. I looked down the wall at the ones they had, and there were 3 colors to choose from: white, black, nude. Ahhhh, but they did have nude ones with frilly lace. Or white ones with see-through sides. Now there's a fancy, sexy bra! NOT.
Oh well. I figured I would try them on, make sure they fit and were comfortable, then just go back and choose the ones I like in a different pattern. So off to the changing room I went. And man is that an experience ; ) After nursing 4 kids, my pretties look like, well, not pretty! As I was putting on these bras, though, I was noticing that my these cups were HUGE! Ok, ring the doorbell and ask for a different size.
Whew! That did it! They fit perfectly. So I got them and went out to see if they had these styles in different patterns. Nope! Just plain old boring ones. I guess when women get to be my size they don't need to feel sexy. No pink ones. No zebra striped ones. White. Nude. Black. Those were my choices. So I went with one of each color! I figure I still need to treat my ta-tas, even if they might not be as sexy as smaller ones.
I encourage all women out there to treat your ta-tas. We all think about getting new jeans or a new dress. Well, wearing one of my new boulder holders today, I feel just an ounce sexier! That's enough for me! So go do it! And allow yourself to feel good about yourself no matter what your shape and size is!
So I decided to go shopping for some lift-me-ups!! I walked in the store and the first thing I said was, "Hi. I am wondering if you could measure me!" How often does that happen? I felt kind of like a moron. But that's her job, you know! So she walked me away from the check-out counters. I figured she was going to take me to a fitting room or something. NOPE! Just a few feet away behind a rack of bras. LOL Ok, I guess:)
So she gave me my measurements and just started picking away. I was quite surprised at the cup size she had me at, but I figured she knew best, and we would just go try on these ta-ta holders! But as she kept grabbing more, they were not what I was expecting. I looked down the wall at the ones they had, and there were 3 colors to choose from: white, black, nude. Ahhhh, but they did have nude ones with frilly lace. Or white ones with see-through sides. Now there's a fancy, sexy bra! NOT.
Oh well. I figured I would try them on, make sure they fit and were comfortable, then just go back and choose the ones I like in a different pattern. So off to the changing room I went. And man is that an experience ; ) After nursing 4 kids, my pretties look like, well, not pretty! As I was putting on these bras, though, I was noticing that my these cups were HUGE! Ok, ring the doorbell and ask for a different size.
Whew! That did it! They fit perfectly. So I got them and went out to see if they had these styles in different patterns. Nope! Just plain old boring ones. I guess when women get to be my size they don't need to feel sexy. No pink ones. No zebra striped ones. White. Nude. Black. Those were my choices. So I went with one of each color! I figure I still need to treat my ta-tas, even if they might not be as sexy as smaller ones.
I encourage all women out there to treat your ta-tas. We all think about getting new jeans or a new dress. Well, wearing one of my new boulder holders today, I feel just an ounce sexier! That's enough for me! So go do it! And allow yourself to feel good about yourself no matter what your shape and size is!
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
My Balance Beam in my Teeter-Totter World
So I was just diagnosed yesterday with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Definitely something I'm going to have to Google! What I was told was that I can become anxious about just about anything and everything. Great! A worry wart who's crazy! Man I feel sorry for my husband sometimes. And he's stuck with me this long!?! Thank GOD for that man!
He truly is my balance beam. I tell him this a lot! I'm sure it's a lot to put on him. But he wears that hat very well. My world is going back and forth. I'm running here, there, trying to keep the house clean and my kids feeling loved all throughout. And when my life isn't balanced, which is honestly most of the time, my hubby is there to balance me out!
BMV ~ Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, with everything that I am, for sticking with me. I love that I feel safe with you. That you balance me out when I'm trying to figure out which way to teeter or totter. I love you, Honey!
He truly is my balance beam. I tell him this a lot! I'm sure it's a lot to put on him. But he wears that hat very well. My world is going back and forth. I'm running here, there, trying to keep the house clean and my kids feeling loved all throughout. And when my life isn't balanced, which is honestly most of the time, my hubby is there to balance me out!
BMV ~ Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, with everything that I am, for sticking with me. I love that I feel safe with you. That you balance me out when I'm trying to figure out which way to teeter or totter. I love you, Honey!
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