Pride

I have been taught not to be too proud of myself. I don't want to seem conceited and big headed. But there are times when I think I need to be proud of myself. And last night was one of those times!

I'm in the process of sort of training myself to get ready for a 5K. I find myself laughing at hearing myself say that. My family is not a family of runners...except for my brother, who is training for his 3rd (I think) marathon!! I have terrible knees and they just KILL when I run and when I'm done. And I'm terribly slow when I run, which is ok when I'm running long distances at a speed that I choose. I've never been a runner. But I think I may be hooked after just one night!

Last night my hubby and I decided to make a practice run of the 5K. He had already run it in the morning, but was sweet enough to run it AGAIN just to help me out. My goal was to run the whole thing without stopping. Turns out, I DID IT! My husband was a good encourager! Although I'm not sure I needed it. This time when I set my mind on running continuously, I meant it! I've been trying to lose a bunch of weight. And this is part of my weight loss plan. So this goal was going to be achieved! And I did it!

There were a couple things that kept me going when I was slowing down. Right before I left my little peanut was just a smilin' at me! I figured I would take this with me as went running, to help me keep my goal. Another thought I had was my kids. I want to be able to show my kids that their mom can do things...and not just clean and do laundry! I want them to know that if they try hard enough and keep with it, they can accomplish things that may seem hard! That kept me going! Last, was the little boy who I'm running the 5K for. He is a little 3rd grader who was diagnosed with cancer and had to have one of his legs amputated. I may not like running, but at least I have both of my legs to do it if I did. This precious gift from God will have to find other ways to do so many things. I'm doing this for him.

So for all these reasons, I'm proud of myself. I'm doing something for myself that is going to push me into becoming a better person. It's going to bring me self-confidence that has been lacking. It's going to give me more goals for this one facet of my life. And maybe, just maybe it's going to open my eyes to more activities and opportunities to allow me to feel proud of myself (in a good, non big-headed way)!

We've all been told to stop and smell the roses! But so many of us are so busy we don't have (or make) time. Well, I stopped to smell the roses the other night! I stopped to appreciate what God has blessed me with! And I'm so thankful for these 5 blessings in my life! It's the little things they do that keep me wanting to smell the roses.

Drive Thru Difference

Not sure how many of you have heard of the Drive Thru Difference. It is truly a neat thing that is purely selfless, but may make a difference at that moment in another person's life. Listening to 98.5 KTIS (or www.KTIS.fm) out of the Twin Cities, and their encouragement to do this the first Friday of every month (or more often if you feel called to do so), was something I was excited to do. Now I am encouraging anyone who reads this to do the same.

Jesus says in Matthew 6:1-4,

“Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. “Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you." This is one way to do that.

When you go through a drive thru for coffee or lunch or supper, whatever, pay for the person behind you! The person behind you will surely not be expecting it! You will hopefully feel joy from doing this good thing. But hopefully the surprise you give the person behind you will bring them even more joy. And they won't know you (most likely), so it will be even more of a difference...that a complete stranger would do this for another!

I have done this quite a few times. (I know, it seems like I'm boasting about it...but I'm not really. I don't tell people after I've done it...just now.) And it's fun knowing that I can make a difference in someone else's life when it seems that there isn't any other way for me to do that because of my time and schedule. Even with our financial situation we are in right now (with Bryan being a full-time medical student), we have been blessed! This is a way that I can bless others and give back to the Lord!

Listen to 98.5 KTIS if you're in MN, or online, or KLIF 107.1 or 99.5 KZZQ if you're in Des Moines! It's great music with an even better message. My hope in doing the Drive Thru Difference is to inspire those in the car behind me to turn one of these stations on, too! Turn them on to the Lord and His good news!!

So give it a try! Download a Drive Thru Difference note and make a difference in someone else's life while you're getting something for yourself! If you do it, write your experience on here! I'd love to hear about it (and it will be our little secret!)! Have fun and God bless.

Cherish the Lasts

Yesterday was Mother's Day. It was a great day for me to spend with my kids. They let me sleep in for a little while! They came in to wake me to tell me they had made me breakfast! They had gifts they had made sitting on the table for me to open! They even let me take a nap (for 3 hours) in the afternoon! It felt good to know that some of the things I do for them they did for me! And they did it with smiles on their faces!!

I was able to worship with my kids and husband in the morning. I got to listen to my oldest blessing sing at church. Again, throughout the day, they showed me how proud I am of my kids. They have manners. They are thoughtful of others. They help each other out.

I had another first, too. This was my first Mother's Day with my baby Kailyn. It was another day where I could really appreciate what the Lord had given me...now 4 beautiful gifts.

I closed my Mother's Day with crying myself to sleep though! Seems kind of strange, huh! I think every mom should read the book "Let Me Hold You Longer" by Karen Kingsbury. Then it would all make sense! It's about how we always cherish and snapshot and write down the firsts we have with our kiddos. But we never do the same for the lasts. The last diaper we "get" to change. The last time we get to feed our baby the bottle. The last time we rock them to sleep on our laps.

I had a first as well as a last for me this Mother's Day. This is the last "first" Mother's Day I'll ever get. Bryan and I are done having kids, so I'll never had another "first" Mother's Day. And as I was holding Kailyn last night, as she was falling asleep and resting so peacefully on my chest, I was sad that I will never again have another Mother's Day with an infant. And to think how much she will change from this to the my next Mother's Day. I thought about how I want to cherish this moment. Take a snapshot and write about my last first Mother's Day. And more tears came. I hadn't gotten one picture taken of me with my blessings on Mother's Day.

So, maybe today I'll have to cheat a little. Even though today isn't Mother's Day, I'll have to pretend it is, just to be sure that I get a picture taken of me with my kiddos, who I absolutely LOVE being a Momma to!

You made me smile!

There are times in my life right now when I am just down. I'm not sure why, and at times it doesn't seem like I can change that. I guess that's what the postpartum depression is. That's how it was after I had Madi, too.

Sometimes all I want to do is just sit and do nothing. So I decided to do that today while the kiddos were taking a nap. And then the sun shone up at me, even though it is storming outside, when this happened...

and you made me smile:)! I love you peanut!

By Your Side

Everyone's family and life situation is different. But it still makes me wonder if my thoughts are like that of other moms in my similar situation. Right now my life is pretty consumed with my kids, especially having a newborn. I'm with them during the day, then take care of them at night so my husband can study, or now, go play sand volleyball. I love being a mom! But I feel I have lost the role of wife completely.

I frequently have the song "By Your Side" by Tenth Avenue North playing in my head. I think I want Bryan to be by my side so much (and not just literally). I miss being his wife. I don't feel like I'm loved the way I want to be. I have pretty much no communication with him. Life is too consuming. But when I listen to this song, it reminds me that I don't need to feel this way. Jesus is by my side. I don't need to look for love anywhere else. If I'm not getting it from my husband, Jesus is there to love me. In the dead of the night, when I am falling, I can call out to the Lord. He'll be there. He has always been there, and will continue.

New moms, moms of young children: Am I alone in these thoughts? If I am, help me out. The things I want are simple. And I have shared these with my husband...with no success in change of thought or feeling.

I will continue to listen to TAN and take comfort that the Lord is by my side!

Confirmed

This last weekend I went down to see my little sister get confirmed! I'm so proud of her for making that journey with the Lord, even if she hasn't had that "ah-ha" moment with Him. Even though I'm not her sponsor, I fully intend to teach her that the Lord is there with her throughout her day, no matter what she chooses to do! At least that's how I feel, and I know it helps me. My sister hasn't had that moment in her life where her walk with God was evident.

I'm sure that everyone's walk with the Lord starts and is different. But I wonder about those that don't have Christ in their hearts. One of my little brothers says he doesn't believe. This saddens me. But as much as he doesn't want to attend church, or sing once he's there, he attends all of his family members' church functions. He was there at church to watch our sister get confirmed. He has come to my childrens' baptisms. Sometimes I wonder if he does know the Lord, just wrestles with another part of it.

My hope for my little brother is that before he leaves this earth he knows where he's going. And my hope is that it's with the Lord. I hope he confirms himself with the one who can save him!